Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Almost everything is dark

how it feels, to be judged with something that not you? it's been a rough week for me since i realize my life was fulled with problems. i just feel so down. and i realize, i always lost people i loved. they just go away without a reason why. and it feels so hurt. i always be there for everyone else and also i need someone to be there for me, to comforting me and to tell me that everything it gonna be okay. and if someone asks me whoi want to be with, i would simply say "someone who can understand, that i'm not perfect and who will never leave me". i just want someone who will understand me even no words are spoken. and the hardest part about walking away from someone is that you know, no matter how long you go they willnever run after you. "the prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain"

i really hope this tears will stop running someday, i hope the warm sunshines dries these tears. i lost strength in my legs and drop down. everyday i hold out to comforting myself "it will be alright" but it makes me afraid little by little. i tell myself to believe on myself but i don't. Now, i don't know how longer i can hold out but i will wait. although the night is long, the sun will comes up. someday, my painful heart will get well. and i hope God will help me, i don't have enough confidencemore and more to overcome myself - ( Someday - IU)

so many people have left my life. so from now on,as soon as i meet someone new, i will be prepared for the worst since they always keep hurting me all over again.

A silent tear fall from her eyes
As she fell on her knees and cry
No one can see her pain filled life
it dosen't show in her hazel eyes
Dejected, rejected
Unappreciated and not respected
Alone and so desolated
She never ever felt so hurt
Trying so hard to get back on top
Everytime she tried
They pushed her back down
Right back where she started
Nobody sees the pain inside
She wears a mask to hide
All the scars
Now all she could do is weep and cry
Dignity loss, together with her pride
There is no one by her side
To even let her try
I don't even know why, everytime i read this poem, my heart is hurt. suddenly all of my past was appear andi really don't know how to stand it because that's all i feel now, rejected. and actually this poem was given by my teacher for my final term's test. 

and i'm really sorry for didn't share anything here. i just want to givingup my feeling because it's really hurts to thinking about this bymyself. and anyway, i'm going to have a final test tomorrow,and i'm sorry for didn't reply your comment until weekend or untul my final was done. and i'm going to have a little renovation on my blog after final, just wait for that :)

Head up, fake smile and move on :')

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Decided to come back

I'm back!!! it's been a long time since i haven't post anything yet from my last post. it's been such a busy weekforme these days. yap another competition. i join a speech contest last tuesdayactually. but i'm lost.because i haven't practice anything yet for my speech since i got sick. yeah, i got sick this last 3 days. i having an stomachace since i have maag(again) and also my blood tension was really low. it's just 90/60 and i'm nearly fainted T.T
Nevermind,but i'm HERE! there's so many people and my friend said that 'why don't you updated a new post again?' 'i missed your post on your blog' 'when you startblogging again?' 'blahblahblah'*touched* thanks for missing me anyway but now i decided to come back and i'm here and this is my post about my outfit today when i'm going to have a little vacation with my little doggy, mommy and daddy to spend a day with.
i really need to wear some comfy and simple outfit today. so i choose a super comfy t-shirt from bershka. and actually i'm really in love with the cool things style on my t-shirt! and also a comfy outfit never looks perfect with my little vintage box bag! it's small, cute and vintage!!
 studded on my t-shirt! <3
Create your own style. let it be unique for yourself and yet indentifiable for others! <3
Anyway, i have to go now. see you soon and promise i won't absent from my blog post again. love you bloggers!